I am excited, honest, I am. I am nervous. I am unsure and laid open. I feel like a shell cast upon a beach by the waves. Waiting. Blanched. Drying in the sun waiting for my next purpose to arise. However, unlike this shell I know where I am going, but the outcome is far more uncertain.
For this trip, we are required to read "The Poisonwood Bible" by Barbara Kingsolver. The story, thus far, is about a family who travels to the Congo as missionaries and all their misadventures and misunderstandings. The book also treats God in a strange light. Like a big puppeteer in the sky with somewhat of a vindictive motive. Caught in the middle of an uprising the father, a very strong willed and self proclaimed righteous man, demands that his family remain behind as the rest of the westerners return home on the suggestion of governments and organizations. His faith makes me question at what point should he just throw his hands up and say, 'Ok I give up. I'm going home God'. Is this man correct in his stubbornness or just crazy? But so far a good book. You should read it. Question the solidity of your faith and at what point should we pick up that cross and carry it home?
As my trip squeaks closer and closer my lists grow in number. Some shrink while others grow exponentially. The list of things to buy has begun to dwindle, but my list of things to accomplish seems to multiply like rabbits. And with tomorrow becoming a visit Chicago day, I am left with the solitary idea or proposition of Tuesday. There is still so much to do, and yet it still seems so unreal.
Random things that must still be accomplished:
-Photocopy passport
-PACK! (certainly the bane of my list)
-Get a haircut
-Spend quality family time
-Finish all my various projects that have been started this summer
-Find time to sleep
The weather has been simply perfect lately, and for that I am so grateful. Yesterday, I spent a beautiful day, even if it did rain for 10 minutes or so, at the muddy Mississippi with Wes, my wonderful boyfriend, Michael, and Julie. My siblings are home frequently and spending time with them is a great delight. Life is sweet. Summer has calmed down significantly and it lingers with the simple afterglow of joy.
Thanks be to God for his wonderful gifts of weather and time. God, give me the patience and the strength to do all I must to be ready for this trip. Give me the faith of a child.
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